I've started to write this blog post 4 different times, but there's just too much. All I can say after it all is that even though the world is a broken place, God is still good and He has a plan. I know Paulie knew the Lord and that he's in heaven now. And his death has made as much of an impact as his life did. He was kind, gentle, and had a servant's heart. He's the kind of person I can picture Jesus being like.
The picture above is of Paulie hugging CJ in the receiving line at our wedding. It's always been one of my favorite pictures from the wedding, because Paulie just looks so happy for us. He was such an awesome guy. So many of us are going to miss him. He wasn't an in-your-face kind of guy, but he touched everyone's life that he met. And I keep thinking that 1000 of us can't take his place.
It's been a week since my mother called me on my cell phone to tell me the news and I cried in the corner of a thrift store. While I was driving around, running errands today, I heard a song on the radio on K-LOVE, our local Christian radio station. I've heard the song before, but today the lyrics really struck me, and my tear ducts' let loose. I can't even read the words now without crying. I'm sure it's no coincidence that this song was played today, on All Saint's Day...a day to remember those who have gone to be with God.
It just hurts so bad sometimes
'Cause everyday it's sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again
You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I'm dreaming of the day when I'm finally there with you
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
I have asked the question why
But I guess the answer's for another time
So instead I'll pray with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here
And I wanna live my life just like you did
Make the most of my time just like you did
And I wanna make my home up in the sky
Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there
Until I get there
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I'll be there soon
I'll be there soon
Goodbye for now Paulie. We'll see you "soon".