Tonight was the opening of "Growth - A collection of work by Lisa Barker & her friends" at The Owl House in Rochester.
It's an art show that a friend of mine organized and I contributed a piece to.
This is one of Lisa's pieces. My favorite one. I've talked about it before. I still want a print.
It occurred to me tonight that this is the first time I've had a painting in a real art show! (school art shows don't count!) My piece is on the wall in the upstairs dining area. (the small, green painting in the middle). Any long-time blog readers may recognize it from a few years ago.
The central theme for the show was based upon growth and the idea of healing, and/or learning through and even rejoicing when things are hard. Quite an appropriate theme for this painting to be included in.
I may have posted photos of the painting before, and even mentioned that it, along with its companion piece, were born out of intense emotion, but I never gave the specifics. I don't often talk about our infertility. I try to stay positive here on the blog and don't want to be a "downer". I read something once on an infertility site that hit the nail on the head. It said telling people "we can't have children" is "one of the great conversation-stoppers of the world, about on a par with ‘I have cancer’ or ‘my mother was an axe-murderer’."
And everyone's first response is "Oh, I'm sorry." and then, inevitably, "Have you thought about adoption?" [sarcasm] no...the thought has never even crossed my mind![sarcasm]...here's your sign! No, really...I don't get snippy with people. I know they mean well, and...well...what else can they really say? I know they only say it because they don't know what else to say. So anyway, that's why I don't talk about it much. The bane of my existence is the dreaded question "So, do you have kids?" when meeting a person for the first time.
As for adoption...the answer is yes...but we are waiting for God to let us know when the time is right. And as for the whole "I knew someone who dealt with infertility, and after they adopted, they got pregnant!"...the way things are with our situation, us getting pregnant naturally would literally take a miracle. Which, of course, I still believe that God works miracles, but sometimes when you have the cold, hard facts, it's hard to keep that tiny spark of hope alive.
Whatever. We have accepted that God has had this happen for a reason. I have my good days and my bad days. Sometimes I'm fine with it all, and some days something will set me off (like baby showers or a friend's pregnancy announcement) and, usually combined with whacked-out hormones, will reduce me to a teary, moody mess.
Wow. I totally didn't mean to get all super-duper personal in this post, but there it is. I suppose if I am able to be this open publicly, I have had a lot of growth indeed.